FAQ

Email tom@thomaspaulustherapy.com or call 760.452.0902 and tell me you want to book an interview or explore services for your organization.

You can also use the form below.

If you have an active problem in your business or organization it’s best to start with a Diagnostic Interview. We will use these interviews to determine who the key players are in creating the problem and who has the power to resolve it. Sometimes this may involve a series of interviews with different groups within an organization. With this information I can make my own assessment and make recommendations. Sometimes there is a need for seminars, coaching, or conflict resolution services to resolve the problems I find.

If you are more interested in preemptively cultivating a sense of psychological health, relational safety, and well-being, you may simply want to consider seminars and/or coaching.

Businesses, organizations, teams, non-profits, churches, and other entities suffer from systemic problems that can cripple or severely inhibit their functioning and their ability to achieve their mission.

Many important problems can be solved on the conscious level: for example, reducing burnout by changing email policy or introducing flex-time. But many problems persist no matter what policy changes are made. This is because some problems are caused by unconscious factors that employers and employees can’t see or articulate.

For example, a well-meaning CEO may have a tendency towards unconscious omnipotence which manifests in specific ways. She loves hiring struggling young parents. She often gives jobs to people who have high potential but don’t perform. She doesn’t set limits due to unconscious guilt, unconscious anxiety, and unconscious defenses. Then she works too hard to compensate for expectations she hasn’t communicated or enforced and becomes passive aggressive and resentful. She complains to a few trusted confidants in the organization but doesn’t take direct action. The employee she initially thought she was rescuing ultimately leaves and finds a leader who will set limits and help him maximize his potential.

This CEO needs helps seeing and resolving her omnipotence so she can focus on what’s best for her company, rather than on rescuing.

Other types of problems emerge across different levels of power within a company and can be understood in terms of specific factors, like psychological safety. Amy Edmendson (2019) of Harvard Business School points to the example of Wells Fargo. She notes that sometimes lower level employees sometimes don’t communicate problems to leadership because of a lack of psychological safety. When this happens, the results can be Titanic. In the case of Wells Fargo, it appears the billions of dollars in damage can be related to the boots on the ground employees trying to meet high pressure expectations of upper management In these situations, it’s important to assess the level of psychological safety and provide this feedback to leadership so that they can make changes.

If we consciously seek to solve problems without discovering the unconscious cause, we just keep repeating the problem. That’s why we have to do the hard work of uncovering blindspots and choosing the healthy option that emerges from underneath.

Example 1: An employee plays on your unconscious guilt by flipping the power dynamic. You feel inclined to appease them because you have to respect their “feelings”, but you find they just keep punishing you with increasing demands. You are now in a sado-maschistic enactment and want out, but you both need help setting boundaries and addressing grievances productively.

Example 2: key employees have started avoiding you or each other and it’s inhibiting effectiveness, but your efforts to address this have been unfruitful. Paranoia and blame have set in and there’s a clear feeling of US vs. THEM. You need help clearing up projections, moving from conflict avoidance to facing conflict, and restoring a sense of unity.

Example 3: A powerful person in the organization has a narcissistic personality structure and cannot tolerate feedback or disagreement. You’ve tried and they respond with punishment. You need help either moving towards acceptance or, in some cases, setting up choices, consequences, and/or ultimatums in a way that brings resolution. When acceptance isn’t ethical, you may want help calmly upping the pressure, setting limits, and spelling out ultimatums where necessary.